Post by darkheart on Jul 22, 2006 16:58:10 GMT -5
Excerpt from the journal of Nathan Alexander Shadowstar:
It has been three weeks now since the recovery of my father from the dark realms of the Kalak'mal. I have spent many of the days since recovering my strength, thanks mostly to the diligent care of Sera and Mia. Mia has doted heavily upon father, however, which I cannot fault her for....and I do not say anything, as this gives me some much needed time alone with Sera.
I have, however, noticed several changes to my physiology since our return to the Prime Material. Firstly, and thankfully, the presence of the Kalak'mal within me has vanished. I am no longer tormented with nightmares of killing my sister, Mia, in the most gruesome ways, or rending the flesh from those around me I care of. I am seemingly free of the heavy burden this has placed upon me in the past. However, with the passing of this presence has brought a second, and unforeseen change. Where once I had the tremendous power of my lineage, I now am completely devoid of any supernatural, mystical, or magical abilities. It would seem, strangely, that I have become fully mortal. However, with this absence has also come a myriad of memories that are not mine. I dream of places I have not seen, or people I have not held...but when I awake, these dreams are more like memories...as if my body recalls the scent of a woman's hair as if I'd smelt it, or the cool northeastern winds as if I had just felt them. My mind swims with sights of the world I have not encountered. It is terribly confusing, and I have perplexed Sera and Mia with these statements, as I seem to get easily confused about my own reality. For now we hope this is a side effect of the passage I have suffered, and that they will ease in time. I must rest more...and I must think on these things.
~*~
It has been two years since my passage and transformation, and the memories have not lessened nor ceased. However, today I learned the truth of these matters. I was approached by myself, of all things...what seemed a winged version of myself, even. He called himself Nathan Alexander, and knew things about me...things no one else knew or could have known. It seems he had been searching for me, trying to locate me by our collective vision. It also seems that he has taken great risk in coming to see me...he has been living in the realms of my Great Aunt Jaeden, where he is protected from the "Shadow" as he calls him. Even as he spoke the name, he trembled greatly and looked about as a paranoid man does. This doppleganger of mine cautioned me against him, and then bade me to speak to him later. It would seem that he views me as some sort of master, but I am confused by these things. He begged me for a name, and I came up with the first word I could....I have called him Vesper, as he lives with the starry-eyed host. It would seem as if Vesper is quite magically inclined, as he whispered the archaic words Illereas taught me when I was younger, and I felt the weave bend around us, and he was gone.
~*~
I was visited tonight by a terrifying presence. I was awoken by a searing pain in my head, pulling me from my bed. As I stood I was tackled by a dark essence and saw a hand raise above my head, the clenched fist crackling with what I knew to be psionic energy. I saw crimson eyes stare down at me, strangely shocked, as if trying to process information they could not fathom. It was only then that I recognized this creature to be myself as well. The creature did not speak, only breathed heavily. I told him to get off, and strangely he complied. He snarled at me like a feral beast, then bounded for the window and disappeared into the night. I fear that this is the "Shadow" Vesper feared so much...and likely this being was hunting Vesper, not me. I do not understand why he wishes to kill Vesper, but from the look in his eyes, I have named this being Morsus...Latin for sadness, for that is the true ache I have felt from what I can only ascertain are his part of Vesper and I's collective consciousness. he is dark and and dangerous...full of unrequited feelings and tremendous psionic powers. It seems as if I have been split in three, and yet am connected to all. This is a perplexing situation....
~*~
It seems all has finally fallen into place. Sera and I have been married for 3 years now, and I have been coping with my illegitimacy with the Ridre with which she and my Mother-in-law reside. Despite my appalling normalcy, I have managed to bide my time with my cooking, and my business has catered to politicians, thespians, and all manner of people of notoriety. I now only have to cook by appointment, and have garnered a healthy living, by which I now feel as if I can support Sera as she deserves. I have even repaid Kil'atha for the loans he gave me to start the restaurants, and have purchased the building for my new Jazz club, Seraphina's, which is due to open in a few weeks. I have also been doing well in fencing, having garnered my third World Championship this year. Vesper resides with Prophecy in Elysium still...and I have calmed his paranoia some. I know not where Morsus is, but I have memories of deaths and violence mixed with images of Mia...so I can only assume they are wreaking havoc somewhere. I have not seen Mia since the wedding...I miss her so. But I cannot dwell too deeply on my sadness...I must prepare some veal medallions for dinner with the Kendall O'Connor's after their motorcade today. I hope the Major will be pleased.