|
Post by Bor'Nerty on Dec 22, 2021 9:19:07 GMT -5
Bor'Nerty couldn't resist as the Duergar struggled to utter the words "club sandwich".
"No, Me like fresh meat, but... Me want... sandwich sliced!" He rapped against the bar, thumping the sound of a drum punchline. "Budum -Tiss!!!"
He scowled. The joke was corny even for him. This is why he became a black market dealer instead of a comedian.
"Don't get skimpy on the bacon, Reggie. Last time I think you slaughtered the runt... this time pile it on!" He really liked having money again.
His smile curled as he turned back to the Drow. "Tell me what you need. I'll think about it while I eat, and maybe (JUST MAYBE) if it doesn't ruin my appetite I'll give you a hand."
He scratched his ear, and then bit his finger as a thought popped into his tiny head.
"Oh! I almost forgot!!" He slapped the gold coin from his pocket on the bar. "I'll be needing change. Reg."
|
|
|
Post by Ilimetha on Dec 27, 2021 17:48:58 GMT -5
Ilimetha watched Bor'Nerty as he pounded his fist against the bar top. She blinked. She didn't get the joke and would simply shrug.
"Well. Nerty. Aly'dra. Winnie if she wants to tag along.... Z'ress and I are looking to acquire the Eye of Aguya. It's a large fire opal said to contain the soul of an Ifrit. I'm looking for the skinny on where it actually is. Heard it's in the possession of a Lich. Or in the possession of Palasiraks. Also heard a Yochlol in servitude of Lolth had it. What I'm hoping is it's in some poor halflings store on the surface and all I have to do is pay a small fortune for it. Or some human wizard I could just tie up and walk off with it."
She'd grin mischievously. This was of course all her idea as a gift to a certain generous benefactor. Z'ress didn't really have much of a choice in tagging along but he didn't put up much of a fight. She was certain it was on the surface somewhere and she didn't think the kid had even been above ground yet. Now she just needed Nerty to zero in on the location for a little smash and grab.
|
|
|
Post by jsmith506 on Dec 29, 2021 0:43:45 GMT -5
Z'ress pulled down his hood revealing his green completion. Given the present company in the bar, he didn't feel as though his appearance would be much of an issue. His ear flicked at the talk of the mystical gem and its whereabouts. He wasn't opposed to seeking out the gem whatsoever, yet kept up his air of angst laden rebellion. Maybe he would get the chance to get his hands on it for a time, get a taste of the fires within it... He grinned at the thought.
|
|
|
Post by Bor'Nerty on Jan 1, 2022 22:42:17 GMT -5
Bor' Nerty's stomach growled, and it sounded like the pits of hell had opened up right outside. He looked around a little to see who was within earshot.
"So... A guy's uh-... eye? Yeah, I can hop right outside, find me a human and snag you one of those in a snitch! You can buy those in the Red Markets for a couple of quarters... I hear that eyepatches may be making a comeback!"
He realized he wasn't getting many laughs, except for a short chuckle from Z'ress, who he seemed to have been accidently introduced to.
"No?...ok. Maybe...."
He frowned for a few moments, but that toothy grin appeared once more. Another few moments passed.
"You said the Eye of Aguya, again, didn't you?" he sighed and looked a little dismayed with Illimetha. "I was afraid you said that. So, I have to ask, are we up for a little graverobbing? The last I heard, the thing was lodged inside some skull."
The infernal goblin took out his small black lighter and flicked it a few times.
"I have to admit something. I don't know specifically where it is." He seemed a bit sheepish. "I know I sort of said I did... but the truth is I happen to know where to find the guy who does."
He sat on the end of his barstool and crossed his legs as he took another swig from the large mug.
"So... it's the old pirate Aguya himself. I happen to know he's spending his eternity in Samsara, which is my old stomping ground, the third circle of hell. He owes me one, and I think we can get the right info if we butter him up a little. If we can find him a gluttonous soul, or maybe a moderate amount of scratch, I'm convinced the greedy bastard will tell me exactly where to find it, no matter what realm it is in."
Bor'Nerty rapped the bar with his tiny fingers, apparently thinking. "What makes the thing so valuable, you might say? Well, the "eye" also has some interesting properties besides having a living Efreet inside it. When he was alive, Aguya claimed he could see with it psionically, meaning even if he were completely blind or in complete darkness... he could see perfectly with the jewel under his eyepatch. It is an interesting bauble!"
|
|
|
Post by Aly'dra on Jan 16, 2022 18:40:53 GMT -5
“The Eye of Aguya you say?”
Aly ran through her clients to see if she could recall anyone mentioning something. Nothing came to mind immediately but she could always do some digging. It could be a fun adventure. Before she could start working through who exactly she could probe for information Nerty would pipe up about the last known whereabouts. She’d casually sip at her drink as he continued on about the eye and listened with interest.
“Let’s find it.”
Aly would look at everyone and shrug a little bit with a wicked grin.
“I could use some adventure.”
|
|
|
Post by jsmith506 on Jan 16, 2022 19:30:25 GMT -5
Z'ress ear flicked again and he peeked around Ilimetha at Aly. She wanted to come too!? Awesome, he was really looking forward to seeing what the dangerously hot drowess could do.
|
|
|
Post by Ilimetha on Jan 18, 2022 21:57:49 GMT -5
Ilimetha looked over to Bor'Nerty, a highly amused look crossing over her face as the imp explained who would know where the gem was.
"A pirate. You're shitting me."
She'd half laugh, reaching up to squeeze the nape of her own neck. The purpose the pirate used the gem for would at least make sense however, it having the capability to project or take in light. It would give the user the ability to project the light out like a torch or, turn it around and use it to see as if one had night vision. At least, that's what she'd heard.
"Fuck it. Needs a soul you say? Luckily Ched Nasad is just bursting with Gluttonous souls. I'm sure Aly could name one right now. Anyone here able to pull a soul like that or do we need a bauble for that too?"
She looked up curiously, looking over to Aly a moment who indicated she would join. She'd flash her a grin and a wink.
|
|
|
Post by Bor'Nerty on Jan 23, 2022 12:51:32 GMT -5
The infernal goblin hung on to Ilimetha's words for a few moments, and held up a tiny finger. He was a bit tipsy from the beer, which he had nearly finished as they had been sitting there. Bor'Nerty wiped a small amount of froth from his lip and smacked his lips after the last sip.
He waited for the Duergar to get within earshot. "I'll have another one of these, Reg! Don't worry, I'm not driving. Drunk realm hopping's sort of my specialty. Worst place I ended up in was Denver."
He shook the boozy feeling off, briefly. "What was I saying? Oh Yes, a soul. We need a recently deceased soul, no kids, no pets. Adult, middle aged is best, but an older soul can be more satisfying for... well. I won't go into detail. We need to make sure it belongs to someone who is not particularly charitable, and won't be missed." His eyebrows raised slightly as he came to a conclusion.
"So, somebody that is like me, but isn't me. Although if you were thinking the obvious, I'm basically immortal and soulless anyway. And you'd miss me, admit it." Bor'Nerty finished his drink and smiled good naturedly as he winked at Ilimetha.
His expression changed as he looked around at the Drow and others around the bar. "I forgot to ask, am I the only one here besides Reg with that distinction? Immortality is handy to have in the underworld, they say. I can get to the old salty bastard, but I'll need some muscle. Anybody want to hop down to hell for a bit and beat up some really...dumb, elderly undead pirates? Aguya's crew is kind of... particular about who gets to see him."
He burped. "Oh, and I ...might have one or two enchanted doo-hickies somewhere nearby, if anybody with a soul feels up for it. My gear works, too, I tested em' when I was a tour guide. I only lost one paying customer (it wasn't my fault)-they just got a bit too close to a gumming pit."
He blinked a few times, trying to clear his head of the traumatizing memory.
"If you're wondering, Don't ask me what a gumming pit is. It is worse than you can probably imagine."
he smirked and shrugged and then motioned towards the back of the bar.
"Winnie also definitely has something in her office somebody can borrow. Me plus three, maximum, unless any of you happen to have demigod parents or some shit."
|
|
|
Post by Aly'dra on Jan 29, 2022 11:02:55 GMT -5
Aly caught Z'ress peeking around Ilimetha and flashed him a grin. She looked to Ili and Nerty as Ili mentioned her name. She'd nod. Aly grinned back at Ili.
Nerty started talking and Aly would listen as he ran through what they needed and what would need to be done to get the bauble from Aguya. Soul stealing and dead pirates. This would be an interesting adventure. She took a sip of her drink.
"Recently deceased you say? I know of someone. No kids, no wife, no pets. Terrible being all around. I know where to find the body but we'll want to sooner rather than later."
She perked a brow as he mentioned the gumming pit. She wasn't going to ask but she was curious. She looked towards the back of the door when he motioned to it. Her eyes moved back to the group.
"So, we divide and conquer? Split up to get to Aguya and get the soul?"
|
|
|
Post by Bor'Nerty on Jan 30, 2022 15:04:23 GMT -5
Bor'Nerty studied Aly'Dra. What a fascinating creature.
"Oh, I like you. Enthusiasm like that is a very, very, rare quality among your kind." he smiled happily, perhaps giving away his fondness of the Drow. "Aly'Dra, no, we need to get the soul before any of us head down to ... Georgia... I mean..." he threw up quotation marks. "'...Hell or whatever' for a couple of weeks."
He smirked. "I can prepare you all for a safe round trip."
Bor'Nerty glanced around and spoke with a hushed tone. "One of you will need to fetch that blunderbuss looking contraption out of Winnie's office. I'd nick it myself, but I've still got buckshot in my ass from the LAST time I picked a lock here."
The infernal goblin looked down at his empty mug and frowned. He looked up at Z'ress and the two Drow and whispered muffled words into his cup, pretending he was drinking. "Look, nobody goes to steal it, or you'll learn the hard way. Ask Winnie to borrow it, and if that doesn't work... rent the thing from her. She's not using it for anything, anyway."
He darted his eyes around to see if anyone else had heard him. He lowered his voice.
"Listen, carefully... It'll kill two birds with one stone. It'll pull a soul from one's body and store it in a capsule, which can then be swallowed to restore it to the body." His beady eyes narrowed and he smirked. "No soul, no problem when you're in Double Hockeysticks.
Bor'Nerty sighed and weighed his new companion's facial expressions. "We just need make sure we give Aguya something juicy, because I doubt Winnie will give us more than two capsules. "
|
|
|
Post by Ilimetha on Jan 30, 2022 22:55:31 GMT -5
Ilimetha would snicker.
"This is fucking bullshit, because I would not be caught dead in... Georgia! OK? It's like, oh my gawd!"
She'd bring her glass to her lips and take a good long drink. She didn't know what or where this Georgia was that Nerty was referring to but she was playing along.
She'd lean herself over the bar then, listening as he went on in a conspiratorial fashion about stealing, borrowing, or renting something from Winnie. She supposed he had every reason to. She remembered the time he got shot in the ass. He was lucky it was the shotgun and not the lasers that could turn you into shredded cheese. But this was Ilimetha.
"WINNIE!!!" She'd slide herself over the bar, dropping to her feet on the opposite side, careful not to step on or kick Reggie as she pushed aside the curtain.
"Winnie! Hey! We're gettin' a gift for the missus! You coming? Either way seems you got something we need!"
She would yell this for the whole bar to hear as she continued on into the back room. She knew where the traps were. She'd seen Winnie naked. Ilimetha didn't care. If it was something for Ema'laeth she knew Winnie would help however she can.
*click*
"Fuck!"
*BLAM!*
"That one's new! I'm okay!"
None at the bar would've been able to see what had just happened but they all could hear as Ilimetha tripped over something in the back.
|
|
|
Post by Niwyn Bleu on Feb 12, 2022 14:28:58 GMT -5
The little gnome had her hair up in a towel and was wearing a very expensive pink silk robe, having bathed and was now relaxing. She was watching a monitor where a red-haired dwarf was pulling apart some kind of steam engine and was clearly unaware of the cloaked camera technology monitoring her. Sipping a drink forlornly, her little fingers touched the screen longingly, wondering if this reset of reality would be different from the past 20 or so. Hearing Ilimetha call out from the next room, she called back to her over her shoulder.
"Yeah, I'm here Me-me! Oh, and watch out for the....uh...nevermind, teehee!"
She would click the monitor off and walk into the next room, helping her friend to her feet. With a wave of her hand she'd pull the buckshot out of her friend's leather bodice and instantly repair the damage. Giggling lightly, she'd shake her head, pulling the towel off her head and tossing it into the corner as the air around her picked up and acted like a localized hair drier around the little gnome's head. Her hair would static up, poofing up like a mini afro, but Niwyn didn't seem to mind. Touching Ilimetha on the butt, a large shock would zap and her hair would fall flat.
"So what does the Boss-lady need? Or is Bor'Nerty after my stuff again? I had to update the traps since the last time he tried to nick my stuff! Let me guess...he's either after my Wand of Orcus, my Ring of Winter - WHICH HE'S NOT GETTING!!!!, my Metallurgist's Bible or...no...he wants the damn soul sucker again, doesn't he? Yeah...I think I left it in that chest over there. I'm not sure what fascination he has with the damn thing, but just make sure if you're signing up for getting hollow you don't let him keep your capsule. That's a debt you don't want to pay off. Won that stupid thing at an auction of all things...thought it was just a fancy pop gun until I shot a damn drider with it. Still have that sucker's soul in a drawer around here, tee hee!"
She would wander over to a large chest and open it, pulling out an old blunderbuss with a shotgun bandolier full of strange looking edible capsules in it. She'd hand it over to Ilimetha with a shake of her head, then move to a large armoire in the corner. It was full of soul gems and capsules.
"Got myself quite a collection! A few koblods, an umberhulk, some minor demigod called Gurrhk-gla-doni or some strange thing...even have a black dragon soul in here! Rare as hell! Kind of gives me the heebie-jeebies! The undead seem to want it bad for some reason. Every few years or so I have to put down a lich or necromancer who thinks I'm easy pickin's! I think I even used it on a necro once! Heh! Oh...and I only have a handful of those capsules left! Can't for the life of me figure out how they're made or any trace'o'who made 'em! So no testing for fun! I'd have shot Reg in the ass a few years back if I could afford it!"
She'd nod vigorously in confirmation of her words, her cheery grin splitting her lips.
"Lemme know if you need backup! But 'Nerty usually only travels in small groups - if you, Zeddy and Aly are going, the bandwagon may be full! Leastwise, I can hold your souls if needs be. You know you're safe with me!, tee hee!"
|
|
|
Post by Bor'Nerty on Feb 14, 2022 18:08:34 GMT -5
Bor' Nerty's ears perked up at the mention of his name. He knew better not to pipe up unless he had to. Reggie came around and refilled his mug. He took a deep dram and smirked at Z'ress and Aly'Dra.
"Consolidation prizes. Right. I've got a couple of things we could try, but they both have peculiar quirks, if we can't get enough capsules. Hang on one sec." he teleported.
~BLAMF~ A few seconds passed.
The tiefling goblin reappeared. ~BLAMF~ Bor'Nerty placed a ring on the bar. Then an octagonal box, about the size of a toaster appeared from nowhere.
"The ring... is a family heirloom, so I'll need it back. When worn, the wearer registers as an archdemon to other infernal creatures. You don't put this on in this plane, in public, unless you want the plants to wilt and old people to keel over in death from just seeing you. For some reason, infants and children of any race do not seem to notice the effects... I think when it was forged that was some sort of contractual thing put in there by one of my ancestors. Who knows."
"I'll let you both sort out who gets what." He opened the case and a small accordion was pulled out with a folded sheet of paper. The paper slid out onto the bar, and Bor'Nerty hadn't seemed to have noticed as he returned to his drink.
The instructions for the accordion, which were written in a dead demonic language, could clearly be seen on one side, but the other side of the paper was written in common tongue. The notes were scribbled in terrible handwriting, but it was mostly in large, legible letters.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sentient beings fall into one of five categories, depending on what state of being they have.
1. Mortals have these three things. BODY - Basic corpse. SOUL - Consciousness. SPIRIT - Incorporeal form, Astral
2. Celestial beings have none of those things, as they have transcended existence, usually manifesting as beings of pure light or energy.
3. BODY + SPIRIT, no soul - the Immortals. Angels, Demons, Fae... anything that lives forever and does not die from natural causes.
4. SPIRIT + SOUL, no body - The Dead, usually found in an afterlife, unless they decided to haunt the mortal realm as a lost soul. Includes but is not limited to the following: Yurei, Banshee, Ghost, Spectre, Phantom, Poltergeist, Shade, or Wraith.
5. BODY + SOUL, no spirit - The Undead. Includes but is not limited to the following: Ghoul, Jiang-Shi, Lich - (Soul is usually separated and stored in a Phylactery), Mummy, Revenant, Living Skeleton, Vampire (Standard or Energy), Wight, or Zombie.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bor'Nerty placed his mug down and quickly flipped the paper over after spying it. "So... yeah... this is a DaemonCo. Diatonic Accordion, standard issue... I knicked it off of an imp who happened to be the spawn of one of the demon princes, but it's been so long ago I've forgotten which one."
He scratched his chin thoughtfully.
"It is valuable to me, but not as much as the ring. So, do you two know that funny little concept of an angel that carries a harp around? This... is the other version. What you need to know is that anyone who plays this little bugger around demons better be ready to put on a show... " He chuckled.
"Just carrying it makes you a target, but not something the denizens below wish to devour. Demons want to dance to the music that comes out of this thing, even if it is garbage, and they will befriend the musician while they are in proximity of it. If one were to learn how to play it well? Hmph... Its like candy to them. You could build a demonic Rhythm Nation dance troupe of terror if you wanted to." The goblin was amused with himself.
"Anyways, if you're wondering... It used to affect me too... well... I liked it, but my both of my little goblin feet are lefties. I've heard the tune, and I'll tap my foot to it, but it doesn't affect me anymore because of the many times I've heard it played."
The infernal goblin wiped black ale foam off of his chin.
The best part about using these artifacts is that you don't have to leave your soul in this plane. Take it with you intact, and keep it... Kid tested, Mother approved."
|
|
|
Post by Ilimetha on Feb 18, 2022 21:41:16 GMT -5
Ilimetha would 'eep' at the shock to her rear, looking down to Niwyn with an amused scowl. She'd rub the spot and just shake her head.
"Boss lady doesn't need anything. Told her I was going to take Zeddy and get his cherry popped. Really, what I'm doing is taking him to find a surprise gift for Matron dearest. The Eye of Aguya. Enlisted Bor'Nerty for a lead and it seems we need to take a trip to hell. So yeah. Soul sucker. Or whatever."
She'd explain as Winnie went to a large chest to pull out the gun. Looked like an old, less fancy artificer device that the gnome liked to collect. Winnie would hand it to the Drowess and she'd tilt the blunderbuss this way and that, nodding. She'd grin, watching then as the gnome went to her collection of souls to show it off. Reminded her of Ema's curio cabinet filled with little cat figurines that would be brought from the surface she kept in her bedroom.
"You'd watch my soul? You're such a dear." She'd snicker a bit, tucking the gun under her arm. "I would love to have you with us. It's been awhile since we've done a proper job together. I'm hoping we find some really good loot to satisfy these guys otherwise.... I.. might be taking from Ema's coffers to pay them. Wouldn't be much of a gift then, would it."
She'd laugh at that. Like Ema would ever notice if some of her gold went missing. Not with Zeddy doing the books. Call it a business expense.
"Lets see what ol' Nerty has in mind though."
She'd motion with her head towards the front, turning on her heel and making her way back out to the bar. She'd assume Winnie would follow.
|
|
|
Post by Gel'hara Ironvein on Feb 19, 2022 19:49:32 GMT -5
Gel stretched her long lithe figure out in the corner of the tavern. It'd been a long 6 months since she'd last set foot in this tavern. But it was a site much needed for very sore eyes. She'd gotten to the tavern a little earlier then most. But then again most didn't spend 6 months at a time with the same shit-asses braving dangers moving product from the surface to Ched Nasad the way she did. It made her thirsty and curious to ease drop with her curious ears of tales and opportunities that involved pretty shiny things. Gel was a very big fan of coin. But sometimes could be satisficed with pretty shiny things that could be turned into coin.
She'd crossed her legs at the ankles, her cloak pulled in tightly around her body like she was cold, but it was more to make her less noticeable by the rest of the tavern patrons. Head down, drinking from one same kind of cups that reg had been polishing before the drama had begun. Gel had been enjoying the peace and quiet comforting thrum of the tavern, until the drama with the drows caught her attention. She'd watch as the events unfolded listening intently from her corner. A small curl of an amused smile would pull at her mouth beneath the hood of her cloak, as Z'ress almost roasted and toasted his own frank ad beans. She considered at that point shuffling herself together to go over and say hell to Ilimetha and Z'ress, having met them numerous times over the years, as Gel continued to retain employment with the barrajusron house and one of their caravan routes.
Her slate grey-blue eyes would follow the zapping in and outs of the golin like a house cat eyes the the magic red dot. Her curiosity only grew stronger. She’d tilt her head and finish her drink silently listening in, as it sounded the a party was forming. Perhaps they had room for one more?
She’d finish her drink, and stand from her corner making her way lazily towards the group as if she was approaching the bar for a fresh drink. Z’ress was the one she knew the most, after Z’ress came Ilimetha. She’d been a frequent patron of the bar for many years, sometimes every 6 months sometimes it was only once a year. Once the caravan arrived, it would take some time for them to resupply and prepare for the return trip. Which allowed the Tabaxi to indulge her curiosity and of course seek out fresh coin.
Sneakily she’d slide in and slip her arm around Z’ress’s shoulders like she’d always been there. Unlike the goblin she couldn’t blip in and out. But she was cat after all, and they were pure silence.
‘Friend! Associates of friend, I bid you good eve’ Glancing around at the interesting group gathered. She’d glance between Z’ress and the rest of the party, a sly kitty smile on her face showing off those pretty white kitty teeth in her feline-huminoid face. She’d step back a little bit, her arm slyly pulling back from z’ress’s shoulders to only playfully tap the back of his head with her hand.
‘Shit ass.’ She’d say to him. ‘Why are you trying to set yourself and this bar ablaze before Ili can grant you the worlds biggest favor? She’s doing all the leg work just so you get to sit back and have your mind blown. And this is how you treat her efforts? For shame shitass.’ More or less leaving it up to Z’ress to properly introduce his suddenly intrusive furry friend.
Gel for those who knew her, knew her well. Those who’d only met her in passing over the years also knew that her trademark phrase was shitass. It was either being used as a term of endearment or in most cases insult. This case it was a little bit of both. She’d glance off briefly in the direction she’d seen Ili disappear in, before glancing at the remaining party members. There was the goblin and the other beautiful drow that remained behind. The drow she’d seen before, had they spoken? Gel couldn’t recall, but she was very lovely to look at. She’d glance over at the goblin, her cat eyes zeroing in on him, watching him to see if he’d continue to ‘blip’ around the bar.
‘I couldn’t help but over hear you might a little short on souls?’ She’d ask the question of the goblin, since he was doing most of the talking it had seemed.
‘I have 9 if you have coin’. Another feline smile. ‘I mean…lives….not souls…I don’t think I have more than one soul….’ she’d tilt her head to the side pondering it for a brief second before shaking it off with a shrug. Her eyes would be pulled from the goblin towards the sounds of Ilimetha and Winnie returning to the gathering she’d just invaded.
|
|